My little sister earns more: Jealousy over a sibling.

The nature vs nurture debate is one of the oldest in psychology. Is it your environment that ultimately shapes your path – or your inherited genes and abilities?

Somewhat reassuringly – the evidence seems to prove that at least in the case of how you might expect twins separated at birth to grow and excel differently, that it is your environment that has the greater hand in future expectations.

Your genes are not your limiting or enabling factor.

If you haven’t watched already, I highly recommend Three Identical Strangers as a documentary to demonstrate this point.

My sister and I grew up in the same home, received the same education, were encouraged and provided with every avenue to pursue our dreams. Yet her career trajectory to ultimately own and run her own multinational company, and my choice to instead climb the ranks steadily but always under the safety of being someone’s employee and never the employer, has put a very sizable gap in our earnings and success.

When discussing my feelings of inadequacy with friends, they are quick to remind me of my successful relationships, loyal friends, skills and accomplishments in other areas – all true. But it’s hard to not feel like they’re placating me. And harder again, when none of these things are included on a mortgage application.

Much as we’re welcoming a new dawn of valuing our lives outside of the constraints of 9-5 corporate, there is still a lot of internal and external pressure to demonstrate our success with an address that doesn’t change every 12 months with the ending of a lease and a fresh mail redirection.

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While I wait for NAB to update their eligibility criteria, I try to remind myself of the counseling mantra – speak to yourself like you would be a friend in need.

Translated: you wouldn’t tell your closest friend that they’re ailing in the shadows of their big wig sister.

Extend to yourself the same kindness and understanding.

My efforts to produce feelings of genuine pleasure for my sister – without a side of jealousy – remains a work in progress. Hopefully, the horse float parked illegally in a suburban side-street that I’m conditionally approved to purchase provides the perfect place from which to further ponder.

Feature Image: Getty.

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